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How to Practice Self-Care While Visiting Your Hometown This Holiday

Photo Source: Margaux Quayle Cannon

By Marci Liroff

Wow, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve blogged. Life has surely gotten away from me – but still not a good excuse. I’m grateful that you all have been here, reading my articles for years.

For those of you who aren’t aware, I’ve been coaching actors on their upcoming auditions and jobs. One-on-one private coaching is a critical part of auditioning and it’s always good to get another set of eyes on your performance before you take it into the room. Just reach out through email, (liroffcasting@sbcglobal.com) and we can set up a date and time to work together in person or through Skype or Facetime. I assist working actors only.

Here come the holidays. For some actors, family time triggers dread. You may be barraged by the litany of questions actors love, like, “What are you working on?” Trying to justify what you do to those who don’t quite “get it” is not only tiring, it can be psychologically traumatizing. For me, it wasn’t until my parents saw my name on the big screen that they finally had a modicum of understanding of what I do for a living.

I want to help you combat the psychological fatigue in these situations. Go into these gatherings from a secure emotional place. Of course, that’s easy to do when you’re working. But what about when you’re not working? How do you explain to someone who’s not in the business what your day-to-day life is and that you don’t get as many jobs as you have auditions?

You’ll have to quiet that vulture that sometimes crawls up on your shoulder to squawk at you. You know the one. The vulture that tells you you’re not talented and you’ll never get a job. The one that says you’re wasting your time. You’ve got to come to terms with your inner vulture before you can begin to deal with those around you. Self-doubt can be a killer—especially over the holidays. Remember that what you’ve chosen to do is be an artist, a storyteller. If earning a living was a quantifier for how talented you are, most famous artists would have never even picked up a paintbrush or a pen to write history’s greatest works.

Go back to the reason why you got into this in the first place. Spend a little time in that mental space and remember everything you get out of your chosen path, and own it. Yes, own it. These small changes in your mindset will help you deal with others, because if you feel comfortable about yourself and your choices, their opinions won’t matter as much.

Another issue over the holidays is feeling guilty about leaving Tinseltown (or your given acting market). Some say that a sure-fire way to get a job is to buy a plane ticket. Yet, we constantly feel the need to stay in town just in case we get an audition. With self-tapes becoming the norm, all you need is your cellphone and a willing scene partner. (Please don’t use your grandmother, unless she’s an actor!) There’s a great resource called WeRehearse, where you can find a reading partner and also record your audition on the site. All you need is a fast internet connection on both ends.

But let’s dig deeper: You have to get out and give yourself some downtime. If you’re not refilling your well of life experiences, you’re not living fully. Actors need to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly so that they can draw on them firsthand. You need to get out there and see your family and friends; unplug as much as possible. Identify what the important things are for you and plug into them. That could be as simple as volunteering your time, spending more time with your kids or pets, or helping your elderly parents.

From the bottom of my heart, I’m wishing you all a blessed holiday season!

Make sure to check out my online course “How To Audition For Film and Television: Audition Bootcamp”. You can view it on your laptop or your mobile device and your subscription gives you lifetime viewing privileges for this course. I’ll be adding lectures throughout the year.

Warning: I grant permission to share my blog as written with no additions or deletions. Posting my blog is in no way an endorsement of another site unless you obtain my written consent.)

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Why You Didn’t Get the Role

Photo by Jared Erondu

By Marci Liroff

You had a great audition. You killed it. The casting office “pinned” you (casting called your agent to let them know you’re one of our finalists and to let us know if you get another job offer that conflicts). Your hopes are up. You don’t hear anything for a while. Then you get “unpinned” and you didn’t get the role. You ask yourself, “Why? What did I do wrong? What does the other guy have that I don’t?”

I’m here to tell you not to do that to yourself. Don’t go down the rabbit hole on this issue. I had this very thing happen last week on the film I’m casting. We had a final two and then chose one of the actors. The actor who didn’t get the role had his agent email to ask why? My response was this: “Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason. When putting together a family we have to think of all the moving pieces (the wife, the kids) and the overall vibe for the family. Your guy was great. He did everything right. The actor we chose fit better with our existing family.”

In this business, and in life actually, there are so many elements out of your control.

You don’t look right with our lead, you look too much like the writer’s ex-wife, you’re too tall, too short – you get the picture. The one thing you are in control of is your perspective. You get to choose how you are going to feel about not getting the role. No one can take that from you.

Are you going to kick yourself time and time again after each audition because you didn’t do what you wanted to do? Or are you going to learn from it – specifically learn from what went wrong or what sent you off the rails. Are you going to continue to let that voice inside your head that says “I’m not right for this – I always screw up in comedy – I’m no good” or are you going to master that voice and banish it not only from the room, but your head forever. You have this choice.

If you stop thinking, “I’ve got to get this role,” and make it your mission to walk into every room being über prepared and do what you came there to do, you will succeed.

If you make a subtle shift of your mindset so that your goal isn’t to get the job, but to consistently come into every room, knock it out of the park, and build relationships for the future. You want casting directors to bring you back multiple times on all their projects because we know we can trust you.

Remember that we’ve considered thousands for the role, (check out my article Auditions Can Be a Numbers Game) narrowed it down to auditioning about 30 actors (sometime hundreds depending on the role), and if you were chosen as the final two you’ve already won. I know it may not feel that way, but that’s where your perspective comes in.

Make sure to check out my new online course “How To Audition For Film and Television: Audition Bootcamp”. You can view it on your laptop or your mobile device and your subscription gives you lifetime viewing privileges for this course. I’ll be adding lectures throughout the year.

Warning: I grant permission to share my blog as written with no additions or deletions. Posting my blog is in no way an endorsement of another site unless you obtain my written consent.)

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Perfection is a Creativity Killer

Photo by Ricardo Viana

By Marci Liroff

These days we have casting sessions without the director or the producer in the room. You’ll be “going on tape for producer(s)/director” because often times they are on location or simply not available. What I’m noticing is that many actors are hung up on perfection. That nasty “P” word vexes their audition time and time again. They want to do it over and over again until they’ve reached what they think is perfection.

When I’m coaching actors I have some clients who just want the work session to be over and done with. “Is that good enough? Please, can we move on to the next scene?” They truly don’t like the process and just want it to stop. In stark contrast, I have a few clients who simply will not turn anything in unless it is perfect.

What is “perfect” anyway? Who is the judge of that?

You? Me? The casting director who receives it? The creative team who looks at your work and decides whether you’re going to get the role?

As an artist, you’ve got to be your own editor and judge. You’ve got to know in your gut whether your performance is truthful, organic, and spontaneous. It’s a delicate balance. In life, we don’t get to go over and over and replay each experience until we get it right (although some of us definitely keep choosing the same toxic people in our lives and keep playing the same scene out but with different characters.) But I’m talking about the actor who is concerned about how each line comes out, the accent on each word, how his hair looks, or what his hands were doing in the scene.

There are many pros and cons to self-taping. I’ve had many actors tell me that they feel like they’re in a vacuum and don’t know which choices are the right ones. The thing is, there is no “right” here. The right choice is the honest and true choice. Ask yourself, – Are you coming off as a real human being? Or are you making choices that are clichés of what you think this man would do. Are you getting deep down into his soul or are you just skimming the surface with your choices.

Human beings are flawed. Life is messy and complicated.

The performances that show us these traits are the ones that are more compelling to watch because the actor is letting us in to his psyche, not just revealing what he wants to show us – but what he doesn’t want to share. That’s what’s infinitely more interesting to watch than perfection. There is no such thing as perfection and those that are striving for it are not only kidding themselves, they’re shortchanging us and them.

In life, we don’t always know the answers to the questions – we’re searching, we’re discovering. The performances that show us this journey are the most fascinating ones to watch.

I’m not suggesting you turn in a self-tape that’s sloppy, where you don’t know your lines or your performance is half-assed. But please lean toward thinking of yourself as a fallible human being and your performance will automatically be more honest and captivating. The more you start embracing the dark and messy side of your soul, the more we’ll want to watch. It’s only human.

What are you doing to “keep it real?” I want to hear from you.

Make sure to check out my new online course “How To Audition For Film and Television: Audition Bootcamp”. You can view it on your laptop or your mobile device and your subscription gives you lifetime viewing privileges for this course. I’ll be adding lectures throughout the year.

Warning: I grant permission to share my blog as written with no additions or deletions. Posting my blog is in no way an endorsement of another site unless you obtain my written consent.)

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